Birthday Parties and their Meanings

I used to always wonder who made up the idea of birthdays and birthday parties. I loved them as a kid, but when I got older, all the sole attention embarrassed me. So, I wanted to find out who "invented" them so I could find him and kick his ass! (I'm sure it was a man..bday parties have been around so long, I'm sure a woman didn't have the balls to tell someone she invented something so brilliant--ouch!)

So I did my research. A long time ago in Europe, people believed that evil spirits were attracted to people, but moreso on their birthdays (go figure). So, for protection, friends and family would gather with the birthday person to bring food, drinks and gifts, and spread laughter and good cheer, which would ultimately scare off the evil spirits (really..).

And those candles on the cake? Once upon a time, people prayed over the flames of an open fire so the smoke would carry their thoughts and requests up to the gods. Of course today, it is believed that if you blow out your candles with one breath, your wish would come true!

Wow.

If you have any topic suggestions or topics you'd like me to research and blog about, please e-mail me at thawriter@thawriter.biz. Thanks for spending time with me!

You Have to Pick! Femme or Stud? (Do You?)

I recently read someone's blog post polling readers on whether there is a femme shortage; if femmes are going back to men and why are more femmes dressing like studs. Translation: femmes are feminine gay women and stud's are masculine dressed gay women. Case in point: see Cynthia Nixon of "Sex and the City" and her girlfriend in the photo next door.

I thought this was a pretty shallow poll and felt compelled to "gently" respond. After all, who's business is it anyway how a person dresses or decides to love.

So, to address the question, why do more femmes seem to be dressing like studs, I think it's a simple matter of learning who you are and becoming bold enough to stand up to or for that. It doesn't necessarily have to mean a movement, it just means, developing as a person. On the one hand, as you grow, you become a reflection of what you're taught at home. Catholic or Baptist? Democrat or Republican? Straight or Gay? Life is habitual.

As girls, mother's never assume their daughters will be gay, so they dress them like girls: frills and lace. But the more a person is exposed to the world and all it has to offer, you start to adjust your thinking and habits, and slowly begin to mold into the you you're comfortable with. And if your male energy prompts you to feel more confident and comfortable dressed masculine--you do that.

And on whether there's a shortage: I just think women are tired of being made to feel it's necessary to wear a sign across their chests that scream, "I eat pussy for breakfast!" Women who are sound in their sexuality don't waste time labeling themselves, or screaming from the top of a mountain, "I'm gay and I'm femme!" Instead of being unnecessarily vocal about their sexuality, "real" gay women associate themselves with their kindred peers. Their social circles become other women they meet through exclusive clubs or groups for lesbian/bisexual women, and through associations.

For example, the affluent don't go around screaming, "I'm rich! I'm rich!" Instead, you'll find them shopping on Rodeo Drive as opposed to Target, or rooming at the Beverly Hills Hotel versus Comfort Inn. So what looks like a shortage is in essence has turned into handling your lifestyle with sophistication and privacy.

Finally, on are femmes going back to men: These days, it seems that being a lesbian or bisexual woman is a fad or trend. While it probably pisses those who really are lesbian or bisexual off, even to the point of feeling mimicked, the seeming acceptance from society is an uncloseted opportunity for women to get to know themselves and make an informed choice. If being with a woman helps a woman heal after a bad breakup with a man, she's more likely to go back to a man.

On the other hand, I do think more women are bisexual than ever before. Again, I believe it's a societal acceptance that gives women the green light to decide who they want to be with, be it man or woman. While a lot of women might get unintentionally used in the process, it's a process all the same.

Oh, Joe.

Joe Jackson has been a controversial topic even before MJ's death. He's been labeled one of the toughest, meanest, opportunistics dads of all time--all of which might be true.

While Joe was no Cliff Huxtable, he didn't love his children--all of his children--any less. One of my followers commented that it would have been nice if he [Joe] had tempered that intensity with some fatherly love.

As the adage goes: Actions speak louder than words. Ergo, Joe's love for his children is precisely what drove him to push them so hard to prevent their future empoverishment like he experienced early in his life. As proof, a few nights after MJ's death, on ABC's 20/20, not only did Jermaine send gratitude to his dad, he emphatically denied having been abused, and so have other of his siblings in past interviews.

What has happened is, laws put in place to protect children, has made the line of defining abuse very thin. I can't think of an adult who can't remember childhood ass whippings from their fathers or mothers, but who also grew up psychologically sound. Today, however, techniques such as time-out, punishment/grounding and withholding allowance calls for spankings to be considered abuse.

Jermaine noted some of his brothers and sisters "were more sensitive than others." And culturally, black males have always shown their love for their children through a firm tongue and strict discipline (i.e., James Evans, Fred Sanford, George Jefferson to name a few). Rarely did you see them bestowing terms of endearment or affection upon their children. But their love was no less than that of their mothers'.

And there it is. Every family, every story, has to have a "bad guy;" a scapegoat. For the Jackson's, Joe's it. But Joe's not so bad. As the custody hearings get underway to decide the fate (or destiny) of MJ's children, Larry King reported that it is Joseph Jackson who is making attempts to unite Kathering and Debbie despite their growning animosity.

Enough said. Right? So why don't we just "Leave Joe Alone?"

Michael Jackson: Born to Entertain

Since Thursday, June 25th, 2009, when we all learned that Micheal Jackson was dead, I've been listening to news reports on the radio, reading the papers, watching broadcasts and following blogs. On most, the consensus is the same: poor, poor Michael. He will be sorely missed.

I've been trying to log this entry for just as long. I mean, what can you say that hasn't already been said? Everyone, for the most part feels the same--sad. Numbly sad. So every time I try, I stall; get the proverbial "writer's block," then move on to something else, vowing to finish this later. Well, later is here. So I guess it's time for me to just spit it out.

A different perspective...

A source I routinely connect with who was working on MJ's tour building back drops called and chit chatted with me about how he felt. Wow. What a different perspective. Despite how well and vibrant reports say MJ looked, my source noted that he looked frail and skinny--except when he danced. Then, he came alive.

Nevertheless, MJ's death leaves as big a mess as the controversies surrounding his life. For example, the promoters lost $85M on tickets that probably need to be refunded. But who in their right mind would want a refund? The sentimental value of having one of those tickets is priceless--definitely on the "conversation piece" list, and equally, the monetary value of those tickets will be phenomenal if not already.

There is also a $20M price tag on the investment of the sets, all the people connected who didn't get paid won't, and many jobs will be lost.

But here's a thought: as it's said, "the show must go on." So why not show recordings of the preparation of the concert on a big screen; add some other aethetics and clips from the past and present and have a few celebrities show up and do a tribute? That way, people still get paid and memories from the experience by workers, performers and fans will last eternally.

Megastar...

Cartoonist, Mike Luckovich, is under the gun for his sketches of MJ in life and death. The most profound one to me, which shed light on just how big MJ is/was/always will be, is the one interrupting the Savior's second coming for a Michael Jackson update. That's big. And so not far from reality. In fact, the word "megastar" was created to describe MJ some time after he started his solo career because he had become so successful.

Bad taste...

As I sit here still watching and listening to clips and stories of MJ's life, especially about his debt and personal struggles, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, all the leeches surrounding him sucking out of him of any chance of normalcy. His addiction to narcotics, the controversies and finally his death..I can't help but note, Michael was just tired.

Unfortunately, this is one of the most numbing, historical tragedies that I've had an opportunity to live to witness. That's not to discount the indescribable events of 9/11, the senseless assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger or any other worst calamities of this century.

MJ's death is uncomfortably tragic in the sense that it seems that despite all his giving and kindness, his entire life was riddled with pain: emotionally, physically and mentally.

Self-imposed defeat?...
There is one thing that unnerves me to the core: everyone is looking for something or someone to blame. I get that the pressure from the media, family, fans and work was over-the-top. But at what point do we take accountability for our actions, behavior and seek help? If you see that being around little boys gets you caught up, untangle yourself from the web. If you become addicted to narcotics and your love ones plead with you to get help, surrender. If you find yourself changing from a cute little black boy to a distorted, white man, seek counseling. If you see your finances slipping from under you, make some adjustments.

Abuse or desperation...
Fingers are consistently pointed at Joe Jackson for pushing MJ into his Neverland fantasy. But when I think about celebrities: Tiger Woods, Venus/Serena Williams, Beyonce, Michael Jordan, Mike Tyson or any person who succeeds at what they do, I conclude that it takes practice, dedication, commitment and persistence to the craft to become "the King." Afterall, isn't that what they all strive for? And even though our parents might push a little harder than "normal," was Joe's intent to catapult all his children toward success abuse? Or a father's desperation to save his children from the poverty he endured most of his life?

In some interviews Michael says it was because of his father that he became the star he was. In others, he claims the abuse made him want to succeed to get away. But, from the many biopics of the Jackson family's rise to fame, inclusive of the hard work, the kids are laughing, singing, dancing, playing outside and interacting with other children their ages. What more did they want? Friends? Overrated. In most large families, your family members are your friends. I'm living proof. Did they not want the fame? Did he not want to sing and dance or be in a position to afford to do all the good he did?

As parents, don't we all want success for our children? I find myself wondering, if Joe Jackson said f%$k it and left him to his own notions, would he have become the legend he was? I tip my hat to Joesph Jackson. He did everything he could, the only way he knew how to provide for his family.

Throwed or Genius...
"He didn't have a childhood." That statement is overrated, a cop-out and justification for MJ's mental seclusion on fantasy island and bizarre behavior with animals and kids. But did his weirdness classify him as "throwed" or did it just bolster him to the genius category? After all, Einstein, Freud and Beethoven were considered off, but geniuses nontheless. Yes, he occasionally walked around with a damn monkey around his neck, but MJ also broke several world records during his career. You decide.

In or out...
Was MJ a closet homosexual? Who cares?!

Born to entertain...
Of all the songs that have been playing on television and the radio, one that has been playing over and over in my head is my favorite Jackson song, "We're Here to Entertain You."

When we were tiny little boys
We used to dance, we used to sing
Before we even learned to crawl or walk

As we grew up, we didn't change
Somehow we knew, right from the start
We'd love the spotlights and the stage
Because we were born to entertain...

...he did that. Sleep well Michael.

Visit my other blogs: www.thawriter.blogspot.com, www.thagagg.blogspot.com.

Promotional Markets for Your Writing

When it’s time to start marketing your writing, try the following markets:

Organizations

• Fraternal
• Writers groups
• Church
• Military
• Ethnic groups in your book
• Political organizations
• Organizations related to book's subject
• Your home owners' association
• Organizations your spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts/great-aunts belongs to
  

Schools

• From elementary to post graduate, write a list of schools you, your spouse, mother, father and children attend(ed)
• Target departments interested in your subject
• Alumni magazines

Geography

• Where does your book or article take place? Make a list.
• Join AAA and get their tour books for the states your writing covered.
• Compile a list of museums/attractions interested in your work.
• Where have you lived?
• Historical figures in your novel or writing

Magazines

• An editor might be interested to know that a writer who is published in his/her magazine has a book out.
• Target publications interested in your topic.
  

Public

• Give talks and get lists
• Pass out business cards
• Libraries

Everyday People

• Friends
• Neighbors
• Your doctor, dentist, optometrist, hair stylist, vet, piano tuner, lawyer, lawn boy, post office, bank.
• Now, multiply that list by listing "everyday people" for your spouse, mother, siblings, great-aunt Matilde.
• Email

These are just a very few of the many markets in which to target your work. Good luck! Let me know of others so I can share with other writers.

Make EARTH DAY Last All Year Long!

As a writer, I try to fuse all of my passions and causes together, and with pen in hand, help educate about important topics such as saving our planet, living healthier, protecting animals and advocating for teens and tweens within the LGBT community.

This month, I want to remind or inform everyone that April is Earth Month and April 22nd is EARTH DAY.

In celebration of this day, month and cause, help me make EARTH DAY last all year long by visiting Get Active. Go Green! to learn what you can do to become better educated, informed and ACTIVE!

ENTER OUR GET ACTIVE. GO GREEN! RAFFLE TO WIN FREE GAS, GROCERIES AND MORE!

Until next time...
couler avec la lumiére et l'univers

Make EARTH DAY Last All Year Long

As a writer, I try to fuse all of my passions and causes together, and with pen in hand, help educate about important topics such as saving our planet, living healthier, protecting animals and advocating for teens and tweens within the LGBT community.

This month, I want to remind or inform everyone that April is Earth Month and April 22nd is EARTH DAY. In celebration of this day, month and cause, help me make EARTH DAY last all year long by visiting Get Active. Go Green! to learn what you can do to become better educated, informed and ACTIVE!

ENTER OUR GET ACTIVE. GO GREEN! CONTEST TO WIN FREE GAS, GROCERIES AND MORE!

Until next time...
couler avec la lumiére et l'univers